Apology

Well, I would hope anyone who knows me would realize that I would not announce a pregnancy on my blog. I would assume that such joyous and somewhat disturbing (for me) news would be shared via phone, and/or hearing it screamed from the roof-top, not with a casual "Huh. Go figure." However, it appears that the joke Andy and I laughed about for ten minutes (till my face hurt!), fell flat for some of you. I apologize for misleading you. It was meant as a harmless April Fools prank.

I have to get very serious for a minute and say that I really, really hope my readers do not hold out hope for a pregnancy for us. And while Andy & I will welcome any child our Heavenly Father sends our way (and in any manner He chooses), I think it's important that the rest of our families go through the grieving process for that little Andy/Mary biological baby. Having just recently gone through my grief process again, I can say that it isn't fun. But, coming out on the other side is great. Being able to accept what you cannot change and move on is wonderful. And I know everyone has that "miracle baby" story about so-and-so who did such-and-such, but truly...Look at my children. Are they not miracles? Is it not miraculous that we found them? That our searching and crying to the Lord resulted in two beautiful, wonderful children? I could not ask for a greater miracle than the adoption process! It is humbling to know that my Heavenly Father has entrusted me (and Andy) with actually searching out and finding our children. We feel the weight of that responsibility every day. We are happy with this path. It has brought us joy beyond anything we could imagine. It has it's sorrows as well, it is true, but we're strong. We are strong people and a strong couple and a strong family. We have a great life and great kids, and we wouldn't trade them for anything. Not anything.

End of rant. I hope by telling you this, you can understand a little bit why I needed to be able to laugh about my infertility. It isn't something to be mourned, for me. Not right now, anyway. It is what it is, and I'm okay with that. We're okay with that. And being able to laugh about it and poke fun about it was really freeing for me. It helped me realize that I really am safely on the other side of mourning.

So, it's okay if any of you or all of you want to be mad. Hey, that's a part of the mourning process! It really was just meant as a funny joke, and we thought it was funny. I'm sorry if you don't agree.