Thursday, January 20, 2011

Another song of the day

"The Song of the Day" started with some of my online adoption ladies. I grew up with a lot of music in our home; my parents taught me to love it. I love it still, and a great deal of my life is set to a soundtrack, whether in my head or on the earphones. I often find that a song will pop into my head that accompanies and compliments whatever is going on in my day. My friends found that I could do that for their days, too, and so a little tradition was born.

This song was a mistake. I was listening to my "Cheer me up" playlist (yes, that is the actual name), and this song came on. I'm not sure why it ended up in "Cheer me up," because it didn't. But it does reflect what I've been thinking about the past few weeks. At what point do we give up on our wishes and dreams? At what point do we accept that we've done absolutely everything in our power to achieve our goals and we're just not going to make it? The line "I don't want to hear the sound of losing what I never found," describes perfectly where I am right now. Can I accept never finding that one child I feel is "out there?" Can I mourn for that loss and move on, or will I always have that echo of sound...the lost laughter and tears, the unheard voice that I've been waiting for, searching for, aching for. And if I decide I can do that...Am I just giving up? I was taught to never give up...it goes against the very grain of who I am. Questions, questions, questions...very few answers.

I know so many families waiting to adopt feel this way, over and over. So, this is dedicated to anyone and everyone having a tough time with "The Wait," whether it be adoption related or just life in general.



Lyrics:
I don’t know where I’m at
I’m standing at the back
And I’m tired of waiting
Waiting here in line, hoping that I’ll find what I’ve been chasing.

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m gonna to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it’s coming down, down, down.

Not ready to let go
Cause then I'd never know
What I could be missing
But I’m missing way too much
So when do I give up what I’ve been wishing for.

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m gonna to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it’s coming down, down, down.
Oh I am going down, down, down
Can’t find another way around
And I don’t want to hear the sound, of losing what I never found.

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m gonna to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
I never know why it’s coming down, down, down.

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m gonna to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Oh it’s coming down, down, down.

2 comments:

  1. This is so how I have been feeling lately. Hang in there we can only go up from here right.
    Jessica

    ReplyDelete

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