Very few people read this blog, really. I mean, seriously--maybe a handful of people wander through and read it. Mostly, they're family. Some friends. People from Russia who stumble in by mistake. And I seem to have a loyal reader in Brazil. Interesting. Anyway, my point is this--most of you already know these things about me. But . . . ya' know what? I really need to put it in words tonight.
I am . . .
. . . D and R's youngest daughter. I have my mother's hands and my father's eyes.
. . . the agony of my mother's death, and the triumph of knowing I will see her again.
. . . fierce. Beyond anything even I can imagine. Because, as I mentioned above, I am my mother's daughter and I know no other way.
. . . patient. Because, I am also my father's daughter, and he taught me to temper my fierceness with careful thought and understanding.
. . . a fighter. I shouldn't have survived my own birth, the nurses and doctors told my parents. I did. And boy, I've fought for everything I've accomplished ever since.
. . . adoption. I hold it closely to my heart, as it makes my very existence possible. Thank you, Grandma H, for your sorrow and heartache, fortitude and perseverance. D wouldn't have found R otherwise. And I wouldn't be any of this without you.
I believe . . .
. . . God knows us and loves us, on a very personal level.
. . . In true love.
. . . in possibilities.
. . . in everybody's ability to change, if they truly want to.
. . . that I WILL see my mom again, and that moment will be glorious and joyful, and the years without her will be swept away in with the fullness of it.
I think . . .
. . . people who are mean to animals are going to hell.
. . . likewise for people to mistreat children.
. . . My kids are the most beautiful, radiant, amazing people I know.
I love . . .
. . . my husband
. . . my kids
. . . my family
. . . my sister, who has found a new place in my heart the past few years. Love you, sis. Don't think I would have made it this far without you.
. . . music (oh, come on! You knew that one was coming!)
. . . meadow larks, because they remind me of my mom.
. . . animals, because I believe they teach us about unconditional love. Besides, I can't get my kids to run after tennis balls (haha)
Love me, hate me, feel however the heck you want about me. I don't care. I am who I am, and right now . . . at this moment . . . I am so darn happy with that! I am guilty of focusing too much on my own shortcomings and faults. I forget who I really am. I forget who my parents raised me to be. I lose sight of who and what I am in my obsession with who and what I'm not.
. . . So. How's everyone else feeling today?
HEY! Keep being awesome!