S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!

Party, party, party at the Boyle household! Early bedtime for the kids, special dinner for Andy and me, and an extra episode on Supernatural on Netflix. Yep. We're crazy, wild people! HA!

Nate and I started putting up Halloween decorations today. Started with the orange lights and the ghost that makes scary noises as it zips along its line. Tomorrow, we'll put up the blinky ghosts lights. Not sure how long we'll be able to wait before we get the pumpkins. Nate is really excited about Halloween this year. In fact, he is really upset when he sees the Christmas decorations out at Walmart. "Halloween isn't even over yet!"

The homestudy visit is over. It went well. We're trying to decide what to do differently this year. What MORE to do. Any ideas?

Checking in

It has been a busy day around here. I've been working on my paracord stuff, chasing Lizzie around, trying to whip up dinner, and applying for jobs.

We've decided to renew the homestudy. Nate was the deciding factor on this one. He was horrified at the thought of quitting. "But...what if a mom is having a baby...and she wants to give it to us?" Well, try to explain THAT to those big, brown eyes! We have always wanted him to feel involved in the adoption process, and this is the first time he has expressed a strong opinion about anything involving it (besides wanting a brother, lol). I'm not thrilled at the thought of searching for another year . . . but at this point, we're so used to it, what could it hurt?

Song of the day, since it's been a while . . .

The video itself makes me motion sick, but the lyrics are perfect. "I'll kneel down, wait for now. . . I will wait, I will wait for you."

It's empty in the valley of your heart

I'm listening to Mumford and Sons and mourning plans A, B, and C a little. They were good plans, we thought. What happened? Why did they not work out? We don't know. But I can see the paths and life we expected with each plan, and I can't help but feel a bit sad that Plan D hasn't taken us there. Plan D is (we hope) going to take us to equally grand views and still waters ... just different views, different waters.

"If only, if only," the woodpecker sighed...


Well, we can't do anything about the "If only"s. We can only move forward, one step at a time. "Keep on keepin' on," my mom used to say. And so we shall.

"The ghosts that we knew will flicker from view and we'll live a long life."

Today is one of those days when anything seems possible . . . like the universe is saying, "Hey...ya' know...go for it!" I really hope the universe isn't psyching me out. Like Lucy holding the ball for Charlie Brown. If I run as fast as I can and kick as hard as I can, will the ball go sailing through the air, or will the metaphorical ball get yanked away and I land on my back?

Dear universe: Please no...

What do you do when you feel like this? Like the stars are all aligned . . . all you have to do is move forward and take advantage of the moment. Do you just go for it? Or do you hang back a bit, wondering what could go wrong if you run forward too quickly? Seriously. I curious.

This is kind of how I'm feeling today . . . like lightning has struck my heart . . . 

Restless

I've had so much going through my brain...too many thoughts screaming too loudly for attention all at the same time. I can't keep myself from thinking, planning, worrying, wondering. Only way I've found to slow my whirling thoughts is to listen to music (of course). Today, I've been through childhood favorites:

Stuff to dance to (or watch Lizzie dance to):

More childhood favorites:

And music that defines the aching in my soul:

Luckily, my kids are used to any and all of my music tendencies. I hope they're being exposed to a wide variety of music, like I was. Even more, I hope they learn it's okay to take some time to reflect, to sort through your thoughts and emotions, to worry and wonder ... and still come out the other side, whole and well and ready for the journey ahead.

Life is a winding road

Looking at yesterday's post, I realize it may convey that I'm super depressed or something. I'm not. We are just at one of those forks in the road. As the scripture says, "Be still and know I am God." I'm trying very hard to be still and breathe...and listen to God. I'm not exactly sure where this new path will take us and we're at that point in journey where everything is unknown and you don't know what's around the bend...but you're pretty excited to find out!

I've decided to go back to school and change my professional field. If all goes well, I'll be starting classes in April (cross your fingers that I get into my program!) and heading off into a new career come summer. WOW! It is scary and exciting and entirely uncharted territory. Andy and I feel confident that this will be a good change for our family, but you just never know what kind of storms you'll encounter along the way, you know?

Maybe I should be HOPING for storms?

I am reminding myself, while I'm breathing and trying to be still (so, so hard for me!) that life is about learning to dance in the rain, finding joy in the journey. And, at some point, you reach a point where you've thought and prayed and done everything you can, and all that's left is to breathe, like the song says. All you can do is keep breathing. We are trying to be thoughtful, prayerful, and wise in this new venture so your added prayers (cuz you don't pray for us enough, right?) are deeply appreciated.

And here's something...just for fun...