Physically, we are in Rexburg, Idaho. Emotionally, spiritually, even financially ... I'm not so sure. Shock is still the prevailing emotion, I think. Shock that our lives can change so completely is such a short amount of time. It shouldn't surprise us; adoption has taught us that lesson twice over.
But ... here we are.
We bought our sign shop on Nov. 19 and moved here Dec. 22. A month later, we're working hard and have encountered an entirely new level of stress that only comes from owning your own business ... and having your whole heart, soul, and bank account tied up in said business.
The newest member of our family...
No idea where we're going from here. It is all in God's hands.We're just holding on tight and trying to keep up.
Party, party, party at the Boyle household! Early bedtime for the kids, special dinner for Andy and me, and an extra episode on Supernatural on Netflix. Yep. We're crazy, wild people! HA!
Nate and I started putting up Halloween decorations today. Started with the orange lights and the ghost that makes scary noises as it zips along its line. Tomorrow, we'll put up the blinky ghosts lights. Not sure how long we'll be able to wait before we get the pumpkins. Nate is really excited about Halloween this year. In fact, he is really upset when he sees the Christmas decorations out at Walmart. "Halloween isn't even over yet!"
The homestudy visit is over. It went well. We're trying to decide what to do differently this year. What MORE to do. Any ideas?
For my birthday, my bestest bud got me the most out-of-this-this-world-amazing gift! Tickets to me all-time favorite band: MUMFORD AND SONS!!
My somewhat obsessive interest in Mumford and Sons is kind of complicated. I might go into it in more detail one of these days, but suffice to say their music strikes a chord deep within my soul. So not only am I blessed with an amazing friend who would buy tickets, but she also understood that attending the concert would be a really big deal for me! Awesomely awesome!
Even now, two days later, I am breathless at the memory of the concert! Breathless, speechless, and completely grateful for the fantastic outpouring of energy Mumford and Sons put into their performance. Marcus danced around the stage, spinning is circles with his guitar while Ben jumped up and down as he pounded on his keyboard. Winston made sweet love to his banjo (watch a recording of them playing live--you'll understand), and Ted closed his eyes as he brought it all together with the bass. It was obvious they were having a ball playing for us. They were feeding off our energy, we were feeding off theirs, and it all mixed into a night of singing, dancing, screaming, and jumping. It was all I had hoped for and so much more!
I bought over-priced merchandise:
I laughed . . .
I cried . . . (my eyes out . . . all the way through this one . . .)
. . . and left the next day feeling utterly blessed, uplifted, and completely awed:
I wish I had the words to describe it all to you. Powerful, fantastic, splendid, soulful, gripping, heart-wrenching . . . all these are true, but still don't capture the exact experience.
I'm an animal-loving, potato-eating, out-loud-laughing farm girl who has been transplanted into Butte, MT. I still long for the wide-open spaces of my youth.
I love seeing field upon field of wheat, potatoes, and barley growing beneath a clear blue sky. The smell of freshly cut alfalfa fills me with joy, as does the site of ripe wheat in the golden afternoon sunlight. And, most of all, the site of baby animals--even the cows!--just tickles me to no end.
I'm most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt. I think a baked potato and a nice grilled steak are fine dining (sorry, vegetarian and vegan friends!). I think kids should play in the dirt, make mud pies, and know the joy of finding a litter of kitties in the hay stack; they should sleep out under the stars, climb trees, and watch thunder storms sweep across the fields with awe and wonder.
I sometimes dream about living among pine trees, far up in the mountains my mom taught me to love. I still consider the mountains a place apart from the rest of the world . . . almost sacred; a place where I remember who I was and still am, a place where I can immerse myself in God's creations and feel close to Him.
Life's journey has taken me out away from the farm (but thankfully kept me close to the mountains). But beneath the citified, scatter-brained exterior beats the heart of a simple (still scatter-brained) farm girl. And I wouldn't have it any other way!
I'm listening to Mumford and Sons and mourning plans A, B, and C a little. They were good plans, we thought. What happened? Why did they not work out? We don't know. But I can see the paths and life we expected with each plan, and I can't help but feel a bit sad that Plan D hasn't taken us there. Plan D is (we hope) going to take us to equally grand views and still waters ... just different views, different waters.
"If only, if only," the woodpecker sighed...
Well, we can't do anything about the "If only"s. We can only move forward, one step at a time. "Keep on keepin' on," my mom used to say. And so we shall.
"The ghosts that we knew will flicker from view and we'll live a long life."
Life has been running away with me lately. I'm just hanging on for the crazy ride, and who knows where it'll take me next!? As long as I have my hubby and kids with me, I don't really care.
I'm enthusiastically clueless.
We've had a setback in our "Big Plan" and now we're kind of sitting back and taking a good look at our options . . .
We're hoping for a glimpse at the bigger picture; maybe it'll come, maybe it won't. We are putting ourselves in God's hands and trusting that everything happens for a reason.
I've had so much going through my brain...too many thoughts screaming too loudly for attention all at the same time. I can't keep myself from thinking, planning, worrying, wondering. Only way I've found to slow my whirling thoughts is to listen to music (of course). Today, I've been through childhood favorites:
Stuff to dance to (or watch Lizzie dance to):
More childhood favorites:
And music that defines the aching in my soul:
Luckily, my kids are used to any and all of my music tendencies. I hope they're being exposed to a wide variety of music, like I was. Even more, I hope they learn it's okay to take some time to reflect, to sort through your thoughts and emotions, to worry and wonder ... and still come out the other side, whole and well and ready for the journey ahead.
Looking at yesterday's post, I realize it may convey that I'm super depressed or something. I'm not. We are just at one of those forks in the road. As the scripture says, "Be still and know I am God." I'm trying very hard to be still and breathe...and listen to God. I'm not exactly sure where this new path will take us and we're at that point in journey where everything is unknown and you don't know what's around the bend...but you're pretty excited to find out!
I've decided to go back to school and change my professional field. If all goes well, I'll be starting classes in April (cross your fingers that I get into my program!) and heading off into a new career come summer. WOW! It is scary and exciting and entirely uncharted territory. Andy and I feel confident that this will be a good change for our family, but you just never know what kind of storms you'll encounter along the way, you know?
Maybe I should be HOPING for storms?
I am reminding myself, while I'm breathing and trying to be still (so, so hard for me!) that life is about learning to dance in the rain, finding joy in the journey. And, at some point, you reach a point where you've thought and prayed and done everything you can, and all that's left is to breathe, like the song says. All you can do is keep breathing. We are trying to be thoughtful, prayerful, and wise in this new venture so your added prayers (cuz you don't pray for us enough, right?) are deeply appreciated.
